Today the little shreds of my world that held my sanity together shattered and fell all around me. And I stood there and watched it go, wished it farewell because I didn't need it anymore. Stepped from the empty plains around me of what had become my life into a new way of thinking and left it behind. Well, not really a simple step, but I moved on.
We all cope in our own ways. Tonight I found out my girlfriend of over a year who I loved so much and planned on marrying, fucked another guy. Not some successful guy, but just a random guy, her sister's boyfriend's brother actually. High school dropout with no future. But she fucked him, and it hurt.
But as we all need to do, I coped with this seemingly impossible situation in my way. I got drunk, popped a couple pills, and have a new scar etched into my body between my thumb and index finger to mark the ending of this chapter of my life. Tonight I will spend in a depressive funk, but I'll move on. This is how I cope. I deleted every shred of our relationship, removed her from my Myspace and Bebo, unsubscribed to her blogs. Got drunk, got high, and self mutilated. And I'll wake up tomorrow with little to no recollection of tonight. Then I'll move into a new world of thinking, discover a new sense of self, and hope it all works out for the better.
We all cope in different ways however. Some practice the art of zen, some switch cities, others just dont and plant a bullet in their brain.
How do you cope? How do you bear the unbearable? Live the unlivable?
Thoughts of, yet another, random teenager.
About Me
- wasfrogger
- I'm actually incredibly lazy I've realized lately. All I real feel like doing is chilling about and bumming around. My current motivation level is zero and I'm fine with that. I'm done living for the future and therefore am doing nothing to prepare for it. I'm just living in the present and waiting to see where it takes me, wherever that may be.
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